HELP FOR FIRST DATES!

The sun is shining, and business is booming at ice cream stands all over town – in other words, it’s open season for flirting!  Kisses and first dates are simply par for the course in the summertime.  After all, it’s no fun to picnic alone in the park and endure the pitying looks of those happy couples.  We tend to get excited before a first date, and questions like “What should I wear?” or “What will we talk about?” inevitably run through our minds.  To avoid any first date disasters, we have put together a few simple rules.  Believe it or not, it never hurts to mind a few “old school” manners.  Here’s to many further rendezvous!

Where to Meet  

Choose a public spot, such as a café or restaurant, where you aren’t likely to be disturbed.  This way, you avoid a stream of friends constantly coming over to say hello.  This disrupts getting to know someone and might also alienate your date.

Be on Time

Punctuality is a virtue, and tardiness is simply disrespectful.  If you are meeting your date in a public place, don’t worry if you are running five minutes late.  If you are meeting at your date’s home, make sure to arrive no more than fifteen minutes late.  Remember that a first impression counts.  If this cannot be helped, give your date a quick call beforehand to let him or her know.

What to Wear

The most important thing about choosing an outfit is that you feel comfortable.  Avoid clothing or accessories that make you feel dressed up or not quite yourself.  Very revealing clothing can appear too brash; this goes as well for strong perfume or aftershave.  Always strive for a neat, well-groomed appearance.  Once you are dressed and groomed appropriately…fingernails clean?…your date can finally get underway!

Be Yourself

Although you may be nervous, try to be yourself.  Of course, this doesn’t mean putting your feet on the table just because you find it comfortable.  If you fidget nervously with your fingers, clothing or other objects, this signals that you are uncomfortable and can often be misinterpreted by your date.  Should you discover that your date is the most boring person in the world, remain optimistic and end your date after an appropriate amount of time.

Show an Interest

Pay attention to your date and listen carefully to what he or she is saying.  Looking around the room or interrupting your date signals a disinterest.  Your mobile phone should always be turned off during a date in a café or restaurant.  Should you still need to be reachable, make sure your phone rings quietly.  If you absolutely need to make a call, try to make it as brief as possible.  Excuse yourself to take the call in a quiet area.  Naturally, text messaging or repeatedly checking your mobile is strictly taboo!

Who Pays?

Here “old school” manners are somewhat obsolete; separate checks are no longer considered a faux pas.  Whether you would like to pay or let your date pick up the check is strictly up to you.

The Cavalier

Okay, kissing your date’s hand is outdated and also a bit overkill.  Nevertheless, gestures like opening the door for your date or helping her into her coat do have their charms and are usually much appreciated!
It’s the Thought that Counts…
Whether on your first date or a future rendezvous, small gestures are always well received.  However, this is only appropriate if you are meeting at home.  But you don’t need to appear with a gushy gift.   When invited to your date’s home, simply bring along for example a nice bottle of wine for dinner; this small gesture shows that you are attentive.

Womensnet wishes you a pleasant summer and much dating success!